Jeez, he’s not even cute.
Imagine a world where we are all the same. We dress the same, we talk the same, we watch all the same movies and have the same interests. We all have the same color skin and the same taste in music. We all believe the same thing brought us into being, and we all believe in the exact same post-death scenario. Imagine we all love soccer, and hate basketball and only drink crantinis and are allergic to eggs. Imagine we all wear our hair the same way and we all look pretty androgynous. We all walk with the same sway and sneeze at the same things and paint our houses the same color.
Just stop and picture that world for a sec.
Pretty dull, huh? I mean, really, what would be the point of living in a world like that?
And yet, if the jeebots ever got their way, that’s damn near what it would look like.
Most religions are discriminatory in some way, which is absolutely why they should be criticized, relentlessly. Almost all religions take up issue with homosexuality. Religions are generally obsessed with sex and everything to do with it. They can rarely keep their minds, their sermons or their mouths off the topic. They shun, they persecute, they guilt trip and they make you feel generally bad for just being human, and no one gets that worse than the LGBT community.
The thing is, these sex-crazed cults we like to call religions have no idea what the world would look like if they could just pull back on the hate a little. There is no good reason to be homophobic… but there are plenty of reasons why not to be.
How you doin’?
1. You won’t look like an idiot any longer. That’s right. You’re a moron. You’ve completely surrendered your ability to assess whether or not something is worth your time and are succumbing to the mere power of suggestion. You look less capable of thinking for yourself than a fucking fetus.
2. You won’t look like a goddamned, no holy, pervert any longer. It appears as though all you do is think about how people are bumping uglies. Why would you give a shit if you weren’t constantly thinking about it?
3. You’re probably gay, yourself. That’s right, the likelihood of a homophobe being a closeted homosexual is high. The more hate you spew, the more we’re thinking it. If you want more and more people to think you’re gay, please, by all means, keep being homophobic. There is a better way though: Come out.
4. Pride is fun as all hell, no holy. It’s one of the few times in our lives we get to celebrate glorious near-nakedness out in the open and not be offended, because the human body is not fucking offensive. It’s beautiful.
5. Gay bars are the shit. Especially if you’re a straight woman. No creepy men hitting on you… ever. Fuck. Yes. Added bonus if you’re a straight woman: male go-go dancers. Dayaaam. Them boys be ripped, too.
6. People who are openly gay have had to do a lot of soul searching, and have had to be extremely brave to come out of the closet. As such, they tend not to give a shit what anyone thinks of them. People who just don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks are the most fun types of people to be around. They are not shy, they defend what they believe in, and they tend to go after their life goals with a determination that puts the Little Engine That Could to shame.
7. People who have experienced being in the closet for large portions of their lives, grab life by the nuts when they come out. They have a sense of adventure and fun like no one else. You will have the most fun you’ve ever had with people like this.
8. Gay weddings. Or as I like to call them, weddings. When you’re an ally, same sex weddings are about 1000 times more emotional than straight ones, because of the fight required to get there. You can’t help but think of all the couples who cannot get married still, and the massive fight that looms well into the future.
9. You’ll be on the right side of history. Your grandchildren won’t be embarrassed to be related to you the way that former Governor George Wallace’s grandkids are likely embarrassed to be related to him. I bet they keep that shit under wraps…
10. Less hate reduces stress and is good for your overall health. If you’re getting panic attacks or severe anxiety or heart palpitations and insomnia, perhaps try 100% less hate, asshole.
11. God’s not real. I know there’s a little voice deep inside of you that’s telling you this. Listen to that voice. God is not real. Even if he was, what the fuck sort of God would care what we do with our fun bits?
12. You’ll finally be fully human. Until then, you ain’t shit.
Honestly people, it’s 2014. If you still take issue with how two consenting adults love each other, you’re a fucking relic. You’re dusty, old, and irrelevant.
What have I missed? What other reasons are there to stop being homophobic?
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