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An Open Letter To The Atheist-Hating Jeebot Who Says We’re Stealing Christmas

Courtney Heard

Dec 13, 20175 min read

An Open Letter To The Atheist-Hating Jeebot Who Says We’re Stealing Christmas

In which I reply to a god-botherer insisting atheists should not celebrate Christmas.

158 views1 comment

10 Reasons I Probably Couldn’t Be Friends With Jesus

Courtney Heard

Nov 29, 20176 min read

10 Reasons I Probably Couldn’t Be Friends With Jesus

Someone wrote to me to tell me how much Jesus wants me as his friend.

546 views0 comments

Another Catholic Thinks She Knows Why You’re An Atheist – Is She Right?

Courtney Heard

Jun 27, 20175 min read

Another Catholic Thinks She Knows Why You’re An Atheist – Is She Right?

I don’t approach new posts on Aleteia very charitably. This morning I was emailed this one.

350 views0 comments

7 Alternative Explanations For The Empty Tomb of Jeeby

Courtney Heard

Jun 5, 20173 min read

7 Alternative Explanations For The Empty Tomb of Jeeby

How else can we explain the disappearance of Jesus' body from the tomb?

59 views1 comment

Atheist Life Hacks: How To Get A Lecture From Hulk Hogan

Courtney Heard

Jun 23, 20165 min read

Atheist Life Hacks: How To Get A Lecture From Hulk Hogan

What do you get when you work 30 hours straight? Hulk Hogan, that's what.

8 views0 comments

Believers: 6 Signs You’ll Be An Atheist Soon

Courtney Heard

Apr 12, 20165 min read

Believers: 6 Signs You’ll Be An Atheist Soon

How to tell when a believer may be an atheist soon.

241 views0 comments

20 Things I Would Tell God To Do If I Was His PR Advisor

Courtney Heard

Apr 6, 20166 min read

20 Things I Would Tell God To Do If I Was His PR Advisor

God’s not doing so well here on earth. Belief in him is declining worldwide, church attendance is dwindling...

79 views0 comments

Atheist Life Hacks: How To Befriend The Butcher

Courtney Heard

Mar 24, 20166 min read

Atheist Life Hacks: How To Befriend The Butcher

When I first met him, he called me Shorty. I had red hair then, but when I went blonde about two months in, I became Blondie.

12 views0 comments

6 Frustrations Only Outspoken Atheists Understand

Courtney Heard

Feb 24, 20164 min read

6 Frustrations Only Outspoken Atheists Understand

6 Frustrations Only Outspoken Atheists Understand - have you experienced these?

320 views0 comments

Atheist Life Hacks: How To Fight A War In Vietnam

Courtney Heard

Feb 18, 20165 min read

Atheist Life Hacks: How To Fight A War In Vietnam

I used to do a lot of magic mushrooms. I know, you’re probably thinking, this explains a lot.

37 views0 comments

Atheist Life Hacks: How To Survive Y2K

Courtney Heard

Jan 7, 20163 min read

Atheist Life Hacks: How To Survive Y2K

How To Survive Y2K : the story of how I thought Y2K was real.

22 views0 comments

You’ll Never Guess Who’s Mad About The Old Lust N’ Thrust Again

Courtney Heard

Dec 8, 20153 min read

You’ll Never Guess Who’s Mad About The Old Lust N’ Thrust Again

We all know nothing pisses off God more than a good ol’ in n’ out sesh. He’s worried about your junk.

61 views0 comments

7 Things Faith Can Save You From

Courtney Heard

Nov 3, 20152 min read

7 Things Faith Can Save You From

Here is my version of 7 Things Faith Can Save You From.

106 views0 comments

11 Books To Send With Your Kid On ‘Bring Your Bible To School Day’

Courtney Heard

Sep 29, 20154 min read

11 Books To Send With Your Kid On ‘Bring Your Bible To School Day’

Dr. Carl Moeller is trying to get you to stuff a 2000-year-old book of fables in your kid’s Minions backpack on October 8th. Why?

325 views0 comments

Nine Ways Atheists Get More Joy Out Of Life

Courtney Heard

Sep 23, 20156 min read

Nine Ways Atheists Get More Joy Out Of Life

Here are nine ways atheists are free to feel joy, without the burden of dogmatic shame or guilt.

2,438 views0 comments

Has Anyone Seen Kevin Smith Lately? Or: Why I Can’t Tell What’s Real Anymore

Courtney Heard

Sep 9, 20154 min read

Has Anyone Seen Kevin Smith Lately? Or: Why I Can’t Tell What’s Real Anymore

It would be funny… it really would be… If only it were not fucking real.

115 views0 comments

Satan & Sodomy: Don’t Fall Into a Burning Ring Of Fire

Courtney Heard

Aug 5, 20153 min read

Satan & Sodomy: Don’t Fall Into a Burning Ring Of Fire

Will Satan really catch you if you go in through the backdoor?

121 views0 comments

Atheist Life Hacks: How To Rage Quit With A Cup Of Gunpowder

Courtney Heard

Jul 16, 20158 min read

Atheist Life Hacks: How To Rage Quit With A Cup Of Gunpowder

Or, How I quit a good job because I was sleep-deprived and high on caffeine.

11 views0 comments

This Pastor Thinks His 3 Questions For Atheists Will Bring Us To God

Courtney Heard

Jul 15, 20155 min read

This Pastor Thinks His 3 Questions For Atheists Will Bring Us To God

Spoiler alert: these 3 questions didn't bring me to god.

494 views0 comments

Atheist Life Hacks: How To Meet A Gallagher Brother

Courtney Heard

Jun 18, 20155 min read

Atheist Life Hacks: How To Meet A Gallagher Brother

That one time I saw Noel Gallagher in Vancouver with porn in his hand.

17 views0 comments

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