Tag Archives: humour

An Open Letter To The Atheist-Hating Jeebot Who Says We’re Stealing Christmas

The Atheists Who Stole Christmas

Dearest Chuck O’Neal, I read your letter to atheists, agnostics and other unbelieving Christmas celebrants. You know, the one in which you “sincerely” wished us all a Merry Christmas and then proceeded to threaten us with images of Hell? Yeah. That was about as sincere as Milli Vanilli at karaoke night. Thanks bigly. You said,

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10 Reasons I Probably Couldn’t Be Friends With Jesus

Why I can't be friends with Jesus

Yesterday morning I got this note in my inbox: Hello Godless, I saw you speak of your non-profit work on Instagram. I just thought I would write to you to tell you that you’re the sort of person Jesus would want to befriend. If you open your heart and accept Him, He’ll be the best

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Another Catholic Thinks She Knows Why You’re An Atheist – Is She Right?

Catholic church

So there’s this Catholic rag… Aleteia they call it. If I gave a fuck, I’d look up what that means, but predictably, I don’t. Y’all know how I feel about the Catholic Church and defenders of it, so let’s not fake nice, here. Aleteia is a child rape apology periodical and once I took down one of

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7 Alternative Explanations For The Empty Tomb of Jeeby

The empty tomb of Jesus

Honestly heathens, you’re not really trying if you haven’t had someone ask, “Oh yeah? How do you explain the empty tomb, then?”. I thought we could tackle this question today. How can we explain the empty tomb of Jesus? For this exercise, we have to grant a few things. They are: Jesus existed. Jesus was

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How To Spot A Nazi

Yessir brigade

Presenting… your honourable (I use the term loosely) commander, General Snowflake. Yessir brigade at attention!  At ease, soldiers. What has brought me here today, men, women and attack helicopters, is a simple reminder that as a member of the Yessir Brigade, you are hereby obligated to identify Nazis. Your pointer fingers better be sharp and

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Atheist Life Hacks: How To Find The Prince Of Comedy

Kwame Siegel

Somewhere between the Church of Scientology building on Hollywood Blvd and the Chinese theatre that keeps changing names, my stepdaughter and I ran into Kwame Siegel, The Prince of Comedy. The last time I’d been on the Blvd, I was up to my halo in a fuzzy Vicodin-induced euphoria, so I didn’t recall that the

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How Do You Talk To An Atheist?

What Dennis hopes for.

It wouldn’t be a day in my life if I was not exposed to some lobotomy patient’s weak-ass straw man about what atheists are all about. It’s the same old shit, day in and day out and, honestly, it gets older than Keith Richards cryogenically frozen long enough to listen to his own music on

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Atheist Life Hacks: How To Get A Lecture From Hulk Hogan

Hulk Hogan I Can Hear You

Before I actually worked there, I had this glamorous idea of what working at the airport might be like. I thought I’d get all these amazing travel discounts and I’d be able to move up and get promotions. I thought it would be exciting, seeing all these happy travellers come and go to and from incredible adventures. I

Believers: 6 Signs You’ll Be An Atheist Soon

Atheist

I’ve been around atheist Twitter long enough to watch several people go from angry, confrontational self-described victims of Christian persecution, to atheist in a matter of months. I’ve seen many people turn, leave their faith behind and experience the exhilaration of being free of dogma and cognitive dissonance. Most outspoken atheists have seen this so

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20 Things I Would Tell God To Do If I Was His PR Advisor

God's new image

Let’s face it, God’s not doing so well here on earth. Belief in him is declining worldwide, church attendance is dwindling and more and more people are dissociating themselves with the outdated institution of religion. The fact that God wrote himself as a jealous, angry, insecure lead character in the story of his creation doesn’t help.

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