A Quick Lesson For Atheists About Bigotry

Last week, as you know, #InterviewGate2016 went down like the Occupy movement, sluggishly led by people who have alarms set for 4:20, cosplay as Old Yeller and who can be found knuckles-deep in kinetic sand when things get confrontational. I won’t go over what happened again, but the gist, for this post’s sake, is that those who watch an interviewer interview an interviewee who people say is a bigot, are bigots twice removed… and there may be a study to prove it peer-reviewed by a twenty-six year old floral arrangement major who legally changed her name to Rarity because ponies are her spirit animal.

rarity bullshitI’ve heard these sentiments before. This is nothing new. Islam is the no-man’s land of conversation. It is to be viewed as nothing short of perfect, even by those who don’t believe in its god and prophet. Saying that Islam is full of bad ideas puts you on par with Benito Mussolini and god fucking forbid, no holy, that you feel any sort of discomfort at the idea of the ideology spreading globally. Worrying that an increase in Muslim migrants could bring more attacks is only to be heard as, “all Muslims migrants will attack you” and rational conversation can no longer be had. You’re in fucking moral prison. You’re the worst. You’re the worst of the worst. You, my free thinking friend, are worse than John Wayne Gacy on viagra at a Bar Mitzvah.

I’ve faced facts though. Thanks to Rarity and her grueling 45 minutes of collecting opinions after her women’s studies class, I can no longer deny that I am a bigot. I still want to be able to bring Muslim refugees into my country and give them a safe escape from their war-torn roots. I don’t want to give up my humanity to avoid hypothetical situations. However, I understand the concerns that those who oppose open borders have. I do. I have the very same concerns and that, my lovely infidels, makes me a bigot. Oh yes, I am a raging Neo-nazi princess whose Doc Martins are in the fucking mail express-delivered from shoekluxklan.com.

My footwear aside, it wasn’t two days after the Tommynado died down, when I saw one of my loudest critics on social media engaging a Christian. In particular, it was a critic who had threatened to block me because I dared enjoy an interview with someone who had been blackballed by the morally righteous. I watched for a little while, curious as I often am, to see how others debate theists, when suddenly my pedestal-perched naysayer uttered this:

Jesus… Christians are so fucking stupid.

Now, I dunno what this looks like to you beautiful people, but from my vantage point, it sure looks like someone’s caught themselves a bad case of the Afflecktion. You know… the one that makes it okay to spend a few months filming a masterful and hilarious roast of the Catholic Church with Jay and Silent Bob, but as soon as Sam Harris says Islam is full of bad ideas, it’s all:

Ben Affleck

Yes, an Afflecktion indeed. I am a bigot for my YouTube choices, and this lovely specimen of regressive heterophoria is perfectly within reason to call all Christians stupid.

I know what you’re thinking. I do. You’re thinking this fella is probably the type who can’t wait to watch the iambic pentameter finals in the summer Olympics, and you’d probably be right. What this tilt-a-whirl’s done folks, what he’s done is spend a week harassing viewers of an interview, labelling them racist and bigot, and then turned around and asserted that all Christians are stupid.

Which is perfectly acceptable because Christianity is the white man’s religion, right? You cannot be bigoted against Christians. No way.

I’d love to share this lovely sentiment with you folks, so you can see raging hypocrisy with your own eyes, but trips-a-lot went ahead and deleted it… most likely after realizing how much of a lint-eater it made him look like. Integrity, apparently, is out of reach for those hovering over us from their high horse.

There is something far more interesting going on here, though, than just a man with a raging hypocrisy boner, and that is what Islam has managed to accomplish in the atheist community.

Islam has some atheists behaving in a way that makes other atheists afraid to criticize its doctrine or worry about its spread. Islam has some atheists acting in such a way that they see Christianity as fair game, and the teaching of the Quran as off-limits from criticism. It’s not just those who believe the teachings of Allah and of the prophet Mohammad anymore. No, it’s also unbelievers and infidels like you and me defending that horseshit doctrine like they, themselves, hit the rugs and pray to it five times a day. People who do not believe in Allah are going to great lengths to defend him as if they were devout, fundamentalist believers themselves.

So, let’s have a quick recap, shall we?

This is okay:

Priest pedophile

And this is not:

Mohammad

Good:

Ben Affleck Dogma

Bad:

Sam Harris

Totally okay:

“Christians are so stupid.”

Super not okay:

“The increasing flow of Muslim migration to the western world could potentially lead to problems for us.”

Is everyone clear, now? In order to not be considered a bigot, we must only accept that Islam is sacred. Christianity, well, Christianity is silly anyway.

That’s all for now, fellow bigots. Nazi school is dismissed.

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Category: Current Events, Debate | Tags: ,