How To Spot A Nazi

Yessir brigadePresenting… your honourable (I use the term loosely) commander, General Snowflake. Yessir brigade at attention! 

At ease, soldiers. What has brought me here today, men, women and attack helicopters, is a simple reminder that as a member of the Yessir Brigade, you are hereby obligated to identify Nazis. Your pointer fingers better be sharp and clean, because everyday there is a new crop of nazis mobilizing on social media to commit genocide.

Soldiers! How do we identify a nazi? I will refresh your memory!

A nazi may be a member of the National Socialist German Workers’ Party!

A nazi may self-identify!

A nazi may call for the complete annihilation of certain races!

A nazi may be openly and outwardly racist, bigoted and believe he or she is superior.

But, my flock, I want you to be on the lookout for the most heinous sort of nazi of them all. Keep your Twitter open and your tapping finger ready, because a nazi is also someone who disagrees with us.

Have you found someone who is anti-violence against everyone including nazis? That’s a nazi!

Have you found someone who believes nazis can change their minds? That’s a nazi!

Have you found someone who thinks that words can be a powerful weapon against bigotry? That’s a big, fat, bigoted nazi!

Do not be fooled, my little lemmings, by their insistence that they hate nazis, too.

Do not be fooled by their Ghandi quotes and Rosa Parks references.

Do not be fooled by their mild-mannered suggestions that punching nazis is not the way they might have handled it themselves.

Do not be fooled by their claims that conversation is good and leads to change and violence only serves to shut it down!

These. Are. Nazis.

The only people you can trust are not nazis, are the people who claim they would happily punch a nazi (although never have). If you meet someone who is not delighted by violence against nazis, THAT’S A NAZI!

Now, like good little soldiers, I want you to go forth and spread the word on social media. You get out there and spot as many nazis as you can, and call them out. Don’t be discouraged by the consequences that may befall these monsters and pay no mind to calls for evidence. The only evidence you need to know if someone is a nazi, is their plain disagreement with you!

You get out there, and make sure everyone knows, who is a nazi. You get out there and point those glistening fingers!

You get out there and find yourself some nazis! Yessir Brigade at attention!

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Category: Current Events, Debate | Tags: ,
  • Brad Larsen

    This is the part that gets me . . . I remember when I was young, and people used to bully others. Often, it was that kid nobody really liked, or was someone who was overly flamboyant or outgoing in a way that wasn’t ‘normal’. Even artistic or quiet kids that kept to themselves were frequent targets. Usually, they became the targets of the majority crowd, even physical targets of the bullies. Very frequently, the bullies or ‘majority’ were the conservative Christians. Sure, other Christians . . . perhaps the more ‘peace, love and flowers’ types . . . would be a bit horrified, but they’d go along with the bullying.

    Thing is, none of the conservatives were nazis. Neither were the targets. Yet, that same refrain would always be the excuse the bullies or others had if anyone ever had the courage to ask . . . “They had it coming.”

    That was something that inspired me to become an Atheist. To be liberal. To be different than that. Better than that. I suppose it’s why I have a hard time with this latest ‘nazi scare’, and the rampant tide of justification so many of my liberal comrades, even Atheist ones, are coming back with. Am I sorry Richard Spencer was sucker-punched? I’d be lying if I said no. Do I like what he stands for? HELL, no.

    But I didn’t fight my way through my childhood being the outsider, fighting through bullies because I suffered from Social Anxiety Disorder and an awkwardness and sensitivity just to be just like them. That’s not why I did it. I have no intention of taking their place. No one should.

    If that’s the sort of nation that we’re seeing down south, and the sort of world we’re inheriting, perhaps we deserve the likes of the current US administration.

    • Here, here! well said. I can’t say I am upset by Spencer being punched either, nor can I promise I would never have done it myself. The thing is, I hope that I wouldn’t. I hope that in that moment, I would choose to be better than him.

      • Brad Larsen

        I think so. I can’t say I wouldn’t confront him, since I know I would. But I wouldn’t sucker-punch him. I remember way too many kids sitting in the cafeteria, quietly eating, and some bully would wind up and round-house him in the side of the head without warning. Then ‘challenge him to a fight’ as the poor kid was on the ground writhing, trying to figure out what it was that just happened. I think as people used to confronting hate and evil, you and I would be on the front lines, but in a way that would make someone like Captain America proud, and not ashamed to wear ideals like freedom and prosperity for all. 😉

  • Justin Pursley

    This really needed to be said. Well done, Godless Mom!