Atheist Life Hacks: How To Throw A Macklemore Themed Birthday Party

My stepdaughter’s life has never been particularly easy. As the daughter of a single, working mom, she’s had to move around a lot, say goodbye to lots of friends, and be shared between two very different households. There’s been a lot of loss in her family, a lot of extreme changes and to top it all off, she’s had to undergo several intense eye surgeries which forced her to have to wear a patch for a couple of years of her life.

Two years ago, after a particularly difficult few months, I told her we were going to put it all behind us with a huge, unforgettable birthday party.

After eliminating a couple of themes, including an Instagram birthday party, we settled on the final theme: Macklemore. More specifically, it was a thrift shop theme.

First, her and I rewrote the lyrics to “Thrift Shop” for her invite:

Macklemore invite

We bought all the supplies for the party at thrift shops. Her outfit, hilarious old clothing for a dress up game, tablecloths, your grandma’s napkins, and we even bought old trophies with other people’s names on them as the prizes for each game.

As people arrived on the day of the party, we had our stereo set up in the garage with Thrift Shop playing on repeat. Guests arrived in their hilarious thrift shop outfits.

The first game was a dress up relay race, where guests raced to one end of our yard, put on an entire ridiculous outfit from the thrift shop, and raced back:

Thrift shop race

Next up, was pin the mic on Macklemore. I designed a poster of Macklemore missing his mic, and had it printed, along with a dozen little mics with names on them. We spun the guests and made them try to give Macklemore back his mic:

Pin the mic on Macklemore

Pin the mic on Macklemore

Then the cake:

Macklemore cake

Dress-up musical chairs:

Dress up musical chairs

Goodie buckets and glow sticks:

goodie buckets

Then we posed for group pics:


All the girls slept over, and I got no sleep. I still somehow managed to slice up some oranges, clean up strawberries and blueberries and set up a breakfast table outside with chocolate straws and some weird ass chocolate cereal that should really be illegal:


In the end, the plan worked. It made our favourite girl happier than she’d been in a while. We still managed to top it last year though, when we brought her to Mexico and had a hundred wedding guests sing happy birthday to her at midnight, here:

Al Cielo

Al Cielo Xpu Ha

What’s the best birthday party you’ve attended or thrown? Let me know in the comments.

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