Am I A Sex Positive Feminist?

sex positiveMost of you know me already as the fan of the ol’ slap n’ tickle I am. I’ve never tried to hide the fact that boppin’ squiddles is a favourite pastime. Whether you’re ringing your own bell or getting your twinkie creamed by someone else doesn’t matter to me. Getting off is all good in my books. A healthy, enjoyable and perfectly normal way to spend your time. So, I guess it’s pretty obvious that I’m a sex-positive type of jiffy-stiffer, ’cause mama dun like the git-down.

Like, a lot.

Yesterday, though, someone sent me this question:

What is your stance on sex-positive feminism?

While it’s already uncomfortably obvious I’m a sex-positive limb mingler, does that mean that I am a sex-positive feminist? I think, in order the aptly answer the question, we need to differentiate between sex positive feminism and just being sex positive.

Wikipedia defines the sex positive movement as:

Sex positivity is an attitude towards human sexuality that regards all consensual sexual activities as fundamentally healthy and pleasurable, and encourages sexual pleasure and experimentation. The sex-positive movement is a social and philosophical movement that advocates these attitudes. The sex-positive movement advocates sex education and safer sex as part of its campaign.

This perfectly describes how I feel about sex. I wouldn’t change a single word.

While the Wiki definition of sex positive feminism is:

Sex-positive feminism, also known as pro-sex feminism, sex-radical feminism, or sexually liberal feminism is a movement that began in the early 1980s that centers on the idea that sexual freedom is an essential component of women’s freedom.

See, now we have some problems. While I wholeheartedly agree that sex has been used throughout history to squash women, fuck if I didn’t wake up this morning totally fucking free! I mean, sure, there are still assholes around who use sex and sexuality to belittle the women in their lives, but I double checked about a half an hour ago, and sure enough, I have a choice not to be around those people.

Of course, sex positive feminism deals with much deeper issues than just being called a slut, though. There is still one freedom we don’t have here in Canada, and that is the freedom to sell the use of our ugly bits for profit. At least, not without legal ramifications. Being as I fully support anyone’s right to bang one out for a buck, this still doesn’t make me a sex-positive feminist, because we’re talking about an issue that affects men, too. Male sex workers as well as men who use the services of sex workers are affected by the illegality of selling the ol’ nut in the gut in many ways, from criminal charges to STDs to an unshakeable stigma attached to their names.

The way I see it, men like to fuck just as much as women like to fuck, so fucking let them fuck whichever the fuck way they wanna fuck. So long as it’s fucking consensual. I don’t think there should be any stigma that comes along with purchasing sex. As Bill Nye once said, “It’s a drive we cannot disengage.” Why would we make a man feel shame for satisfying a drive he can’t disengage in a way that is mutually beneficial for both consenting parties? It makes zero sense, and that’s a small part of the reason why I strongly support completely legalizing sex work. For the benefit and freedom of women, but also for the benefit and freedom of sexually healthy men.

I want to live in a world that sees a little muffin stuffing as something to celebrate and talk about and clip coupons for. Today, where I live, the stigma that is clinging to sex like a stubborn will-not, affects men and women equally, with one small exception: being called a slut. Just a little name-calling, something that men are not exempt from, either. They just get it for different things.

So, I guess my stance on sex positive feminism is that in the West it’s completely unnecessary. The sex positive movement alone is important, because it seeks to change attitudes toward wetting the ol’ willy for the benefit of both men and women.

I recognize that out there in places like Somalia, or Saudi Arabia, though, things are different. Women are still undeniably oppressed by an obvious patriarchy and much of their oppression is centered around sex and sexuality. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that a more free and open attitude toward sex in these areas of the world, would lead to the liberation of the women who still endure very real horrific treatment every day of their lives. In these places, the sex positive feminism movement is not just important, it’s fucking crucial to pulling these societies out of the dark ages.

Let's have sexTo assert, however, that we still need it here, is an insult to the women in those places where it’s the primary key to their freedom. Freedom we enjoy everyday as Western women.

No, I am not a sex positive feminist, but I sure as hell am sex positive. Now, get out there and cream some goddamned donuts, you filthy heathens. Mom’s orders!

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Category: About Godless Mom, Debate | Tags: ,